Thankful

Good morning!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I want to take a moment to express my thanks.

I am thankful for life –
the ability to see and hear,
and the ability to breathe in fresh air and to feel the warm sun on my face.

I am thankful for the ability to live comfortably –
we have all we need and more.

I am thankful for having supportive relationships –
my family, husband, friends, and yes.. My pups, too!

Although sometimes I catch myself wishing, hoping, or wanting something, I know I already have everything I NEED in life. That being said, the cherry on top of everything would be to welcome a little life into our home. Not many of you know about our journey, but I would like to start opening up about it more, because I am finally able to talk about it without breaking down into tears.

I’ve always had problems and have never had regular cycles. In October 2011, after trying to conceive (TTC) for 8 months naturally, we decided to see a specialist. The specialist drew blood and gave me the diagnosis of Primary Hypothalamic Amenorrhea. (This means that my brain does not properly communicate with my ovaries to tell them to develop and release my eggs. I have plenty of healthy eggs just sitting around, but no hormone to tell them to release.) I had seen this particular specialist a few times in high school, and turns out I’d had this diagnosis since then (but was never told?).

We were told our options included injectable medication or IVF treatments. We knew that both of these options would cost us significant amounts of money (most traditional insurance companies do not have infertility coverage), so we did some research. I read about an oral ovary stimulant called Clomid. I made an appointment to see another (less harsh) fertility specialist. I practically had to beg my doctor to allow me to try Clomid. He said that it would not work for me, but I was persistent saying that I need to know for myself whether it work or not. Well, he gave in, but told me not to get my hopes up. I took the medication, and at my follicular ultrasound, he told me I had two very small follicles in my left ovary. Unfortunately, they were not developed enough to do anything with :(.

After much deliberation, lots of tears, and many sleepless nights, we finally decided that adoption is the journey for us. Domestic or international was the next dilemma. Domestic adoptions occur win the states and may be open or closed. Domestic adoptions can run between $15,000-25,000. International adoptions occur among the USA and other Hague countries. International adoptions cost between $25,000-$70,000 dependent of the chosen country. Based on these numbers, Jerry and I decided that domestic adoption is for us.

After doing more research and speaking to some friends, I found out about fostering to adopt. This sounds like a fantastic option because the maximum cost is $1,500 (legal fees only). The only con we see with this option is that, at any time, the child who has been placed with us may be taken away from us if the birth parents or family “clean up their act” or earn back their parental rights. I’m not sure my heart could handle such pain.. Because it is so much more practical, however, I think this is the option we are leaning toward for now..

We have chosen an agency, and have completed paperwork (now, I just need to turn everything in). We do, however, want two children, so I have set up a fundraising website through YouCaring to fundraise for our traditional adoption (second time around). Any donations are so very much appreciated. Here’s the link: Fundraising for Baby Horak

Live. Laugh. Learn.
Roxana

Donuts for Breakfast

My parents truly are amazing.

They have, selflessly, helped us with so much around the house. Daddy has helped paint, caulk, install flooring… you name it! He and Jerry are both so handy. My mom currently has a vision of adding greenery to our front and back yards. She’s so creative! She’s going to use an old, metal doormat to create a place for jasmine to grow over a brick wall in the front of our home. In the backyard, she wants to create a “Secret Garden” filled with herbs, fruits, and vegetables. I’m very excited to get started in that project :). They came over with donuts for breakfast this morning, and it was so nice to be able to join them in eating. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve truly become appreciative of my parents and everything they’ve ever done for me. I truly could not ask for better parents. I can only hope that one day our children will say the same thing about Jerry and me.

We have been wanting to grow our family since we got married in February 2012. We’ve researched many options, and have decided that adoption is best for us. We just completed our online information survey for the agency we are interested in completing our journey through. Although we’d prefer to have an infant, we’ve come to terms with the fact that infants are a “hot commodity.” Let’s face it – there are more couples wanting infants than there are infants to adopt. Because of this, we’ve expressed our interest in children aged zero (infant) to three years old. While we have opted to adopt just one child (because it is our first time.. we don’t want to bite off more than we can chew), we’ve expressed willingness to adopt twins. I think it would be so amazing to have fraternal boy/girl twins! I’ve heard that the entire process may take up to 2 years. I’m very excited to get the ball rolling, because I really want to be a mother. It’s the one thing I’ve been sure of my entire life :). And, Jerry will make such an amazing Daddy. I just can’t wait! It would be such a big dream come true to finally make one of our guest rooms a baby’s room! Please keep us in your thoughts; I’m hoping our journey will be smooth.

Live. Laugh. Learn.
Roxana